Monday, June 03, 2013
Martin Luther King Jr said “He who passively accepts evil is as much involved in it as he who helps to perpetrate it. He who accepts evil without protesting against it is really cooperating with it.”
Being the mother of my oldest son puts me in a precarious position.
I know too much.
I know the darkness that dwells in his heart and mind. I know the depth of anger behind the twinkling eyes. I know the behaviors that he seeks to either allow him to feel something or to distract him from his pain, fear and anger… I know the risks he takes and the risk he places others in…
and that is my dilemma.
How much do I tell?
What is my social responsibility to society?…to individual people? Do I tell them that they are being lied to? Do I tell them that they are being used? Is it my place to tell if they are being stolen from? Should I step in if I believe someone is in danger? And if so, what type of danger? What if it is just the possibility or threat of danger? What if the threat is of emotional or psychological harm? What if that threat could become a long term trauma experience for someone…do I tell them then? What about physical threat? If there is a possibility of physical harm do I tell…what if it’s just a possibility?
What am I required to do?
What if, in the future, I am faced with the question “Why didn’t you tell me?” If I have the knowledge and can prevent harm shouldn’t I tell? And as a future counselor aren’t I required to tell?
What if I’m not believed?
He is so charming. He is so believable. He is such a victim and always appears to be the underdog struggling against the forces around him. I look insane…do I care? Does it matter if someone’s well being is at stake? Can I live with being assumed insane? Can I be the one who is “the problem?”
What about my relationship with him?
Is there one? A real two-way relationship…or am I just a tool for him to achieve his goals? If I tell does it damage a possibility of developing trust with him? Is there any hope for that? Is it too late? Is he who he will be? Is my first loyalty to my child or to my fellow (hu)man?
Is he RAD?…BPD?… sociopath? Does it matter?
Can God still heal his mind….his heart? Can he be whole? Can he be saved?
Is there any rhyme or reason for his abandonment/adoption?
I wish Mr. King had gone on to explain, step-by-step, how to stand aggressively and be uncooperative with evil but then I doubt that he ever thought his quote would be applied to parenthood.