Monday, October 11, 2010
Yzma, put your hands in the air!
The ride has left the station... ascended to the first pinnacle and spilled over into that first breath-sucking plunge... but tonight it leveled out around a soft curve and we could see the beautiful scenery and hear the birds...
Tonight, Middle talked to me... No, I meant REALLY talked to me!!!!! He had been horrible. Life here with him had been unbearable. He seemed to be feeding off of our misery and we were ready for him to just be gone again.
Then, without warning, he stepped out of the RAD skin and appeared to me in his true original form. That of a boy. He began to tell me that he was afraid and it was hard not to be. He admitted to not trusting us and that it was hard to trust. He confessed that he wanted to trust us but didn't always know how.
He talked about how he didn't want to make us feel afraid. Especially Bright-Eyes. He cried while he spoke about how he didn't want to hit any of us and how he tried and worked to keep from doing that. He said he wanted to be with us and didn't like to be separated in his room because it reminded him of the time-out room at facilities. He said that sometimes when we got mad at him that it reminded him of staff at facilities and he didn't like that, but he knew he did things to make us mad.
He also took responsibility for the behavior he had demonstrated as of late. He talked about his feelings during the behavior but was quick to say that he was still responsible for acting like he did.
He assured me that he does really love us and he wants to have a good life, but sometimes he acts up and gets mad and gets "lost" in the mad. He said he feels like his day is ruined then so why change.
He said he doesn't want to be a criminal and end up in juvenile detention. He wants to trust us.
He had burned his finger tonight on a hot pan that I had warned him about... he had to touch it when I said it was hot. He told me that if he had only trusted me he would not have burned his finger.
So... the roller coaster took the gentle turn and began another climb... I can't see around the next bend but a friend of mine reminded me tonight that the ride isn't over. While we catch our breath on the slow curves, RADs find them the most frightening part of the ride... so throw your hands in the air and prepare... to... SCREEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAMMMMMMMM!!!!!