Sunday, March 27, 2011

4 months later...

Well, life is hard, filled with loss and grief.

Middle is gone. He lives in a foster home now and (the plan is) will until he is aged out of the system. We figure he will be on our doorstep then.

The foster home is in direct opposition to the recommendations of two therapist. Middle's long term AT and the abuse counselor the court ordered to do the Domestic Violence Assessment. On both recommendations, in BIG BOLD letters it states that this child should only be in a long term residential facility with consistent structure and ongoing treatment.

So... he is in a regular foster home with younger children (he even shares his room with younger children!!) He walks to and from school. He is allowed to be unsupervised and has less structure than he did at home and he isn't even going to therapy yet (arrested November 1, placed in foster home on January 6)

How did this happen, you ask... it was a DHR bait & switch. We went to court and the judge didn't want to keep Middle in juvenile any longer so released him into the clutches...err... custody of DHR, with the understanding that it was to find him an appropriate placement. They placed him in his old foster home "temporarily" until they could find a placement... silly us!! We believed them!!!

They never even looked. We had a placement in line. There was an opening and all they needed was a DHR referral. They didn't even call. As soon as Middle was placed they declared that he was doing well in this placement and at that point he could not be moved to a moderate of intensive placement because he was functioning in a basic level placement.

So, as long as Middle is reported to (and remember, this is very different than what might actually be happening) be doing well he will remain there.

So... the charges have been dropped, the case was dismissed and my knife wielding child resides in a suburb surrounded by children.

Yep...somewhere in that darkness is light. My quest is to find it......


Diana said...

Oh, this makes my head spin. I've heard of more than one instance where stuff like this has happend. I'm so, so, sorry you are having to deal with this. It bites BIG TIME!!

GB's Mom said...

I am sorry for your loss. I am praying for the safety of the people around Middle and peace for your family. Can you move before he is 18?

TobyBo said...

hey, T... I just wanted to let you know Carpe Banana has moved to greener fields with more photo storage. Come visit at

Lindy said...

I am glad you are blogging again. I am so sorry for everything. We seem to be a few steps behind you on the same road. It it is insane how the system (doesn't) works. know I am praying for you all;including Middle.
In the end it is Middle who's chances of ever leading a healthy life that are being destroyed-plus all his victims along the way.
As empty as it sounds,you have done what you could. No on could have done more.

J. said...

sorry it has been so hard but I am glad that you have returned to blog land. Hang in there and reember to take care of you too.

Debbie B said...

(((Tammy))) I just popped into your blog today. I am sorry for you and your family on so many levels. I had not idea that this had happened.

Please know that God sees this entire situation and continue to trust Him.

I will be praying for you, your heart, this son.... and for good to finally come out of such a sad situation.

Blessings and Prayers sent to you.