This one was difficult ... Middle-One had just gotten suspended from school that morning, Bright-Eyes is spiraling down and was despondant and depressed and I didn't have protien for breakfast so had a blood-sugar fog. I don't think any of us were focussed.
We arrived at the school to pick Middle up, early. I had a conference scheduled with his teacher.
The first thing teacher said to me is...
"Middle has been sent home for the day due to behavior"
Hmmmm... and I thought he was doing so well :o)
Seems the Middle has been attempting to access porn on school computers and then denying.
He has also been arguing, being oppositional and posturing aggressively... let me share why this last behavior is amusing to me. Middle is a tiny, thin, pre-pubescent 14 y/o and teacher is an x-army, body building hulk with a neck thicker than my excessive waist. The child truly has to have no cause and effect, thinking he can stand off against this mountain of a man.
Looking to the positive, Teacher also shared with me how Middle was so smart because he was able to recite the school's code of conduct and his own IEP agaisnt the teacher while he attempted to drag Middle's scrawny butt to the office. .... that's my boy!!!
Poor teacher... then he had to sit there while I went through my list of questions. Oh and did I mention that this was the Teacher's first morning back after having recieved a compound fracture to his leg... Rough morning.
After the conference we headed to the FCP's home to pick Middle up. It turned out that FCP wasn't too happy with us because Mr. T didn't have his phone on and she had been trying to call him since she learned of Middle's suspension. I did have my phone on and with me... Just let that info fly in the wind for a while ;o)
Picked Middle up. FCP was assigning sentences for him to write over the weekend and getting an earful of defense in exchange.
Finally, we were off to therapy.
Before the boys we had "Family" therapy, which is the AT, Mr. T and I discussing everything to do with the boys and their most recent issues. We discussed the downward spiral of Bright-Eyes, the behavior of Middle .. and what seeing that behavior might mean for us in our home. This week AT had gotten all of the records form the treatment facility so we were also able to discuss those. .... She went through every phase of treatment at the facility. She knew that we had questions about the change toward us and the divisive attitude of the staff. The records revealed a lot. (that's for another post)
Bright-Eye's session was first...
He began it in an oppositional manner by refusing to remove his shoes right or sit correctly. He sat there through the entire session just zoned out. No eye contact no real answers and no cooperation. Bright-Eyes is normally very cooperative in therapy.
AT had him lay across our laps and he didn't want to.
AT talked to him about his behavior and fears and he didn't want to talk.
AT got him to admit that he needed to work his goals and she had him tell us what his goals were (ask and listen) and that was it.
He said "I don't know" a lot...
AT dismissed him and after he left told us that he is presenting as depressed. *sigh*
He didn't want to cooperate either. He was just angry.
The entire session was centered around the incident in school that morning. AT listened and allowed Middle to go on and on and on and on...... about it. I was ready to bang my head into a wall. It's a good thing I trust her because I really wondered what she was doing but I waited... she managed to bring it all back to show Middle that he was responsible. He did not want to see that though. More cause & effect in your face.
AT talked about the anger Middle had. She related it to the anger that kept him from joining his family. She walked him through his decision to get better and join his family again. Then Middle was released from our presence.
We called Ebear in just to help him to see how he wasn't helping in some earlier waiting-room behavior. The first thing he did was sit between Mr. T and I and lay his head in my lap. LOL... I love a healthy kid!!!
We went home to begin visit # 6